TheLadyByron

the other side of your heart

2010-11-19T02:32:00.000-08:00

1.if your man really loved you, then he would at least hide the *evidence* more adequately.or not be cheap and get me some lip salve

2. when you keep wanting to meet their friends, but they have more excuses that chav going to jail.

3. he spends less than half of his "free-time" with you, and never sleeps over

4. he acts nervous in public/or wont go out in public with you

5. when he calls you he whispers and calls you at strange times in the night.

6.he showers after every time you smoosh and makes sure he sprays himself after you touch him.

7.he tells you never to call his house

8.there is a strange woman calling you

9.there is a strange woman following you home

10.he tells you,that you shouldn't let you.re imagination run wild

Animals on a Mission

2010-10-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

Marry me Skerrit Bwoy

2010-10-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

as well being heavy into metal, i bloody love me some DANCEHALL!

and major lazer is the king of perfectly balanced dancehall and electro

although these two Diplo and Switch make up major lazer ,skerrit bwoy is one part of the team and the most talented daggering dancer *sighs*

erm..... basically i love him, and if we ever lock eyes we will get down to da daggering

i want to be the mother of his children, and they will all have blonde mohawks and a smashing sense of style....

straight Mr T ting

XX BYRON

Kraftwerk - The Robots

2010-09-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

if you know nothing then you must at least know of the work of kraftwerk, these guys were DECADES AHEAD of thier time!!

my daddy has their music on vinyl!

NOOOOOO!!

I AM NOT SELLING ANY OF THEM , they are way too priceless

now lets all do the dance...one arm up....slow robotic movements...

XX BYRON

swollen vagina thingy explodes

2010-09-13T16:00:00.000-07:00

i don't know what the fuck that fucking thing is all i can say is that it is very

GROSS and DISGUSTING !!

now that you have seen this i hope you can poke it too!

enjoy your dinner

XX BYRON

I love benga's afro in KatyB's video

2010-09-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

obviously throughout the video benga's afro make several appearances and boy oh boy is it a fantastic specimen of what an afro should be and more. IT JUST SOOOO JOKE!!

ALSO, click >>>> katyB can sing really well!

and to buy the Single on the picture below

Besides 'Katy on a Mission', Katy has some big things in the pipeline as she provides vocals on the absolutely mental 'Hold Me' from The Count and Sinden's upcoming debut album "Mega Mega Mega" that drops tomorrow on Domino, a feature on Magnetic Man's track 'Perfect Stranger' as well as a collaboration with Ms. Dynamite, slated to appear on her own upcoming debut album.

XX BYRON

Dont leave in east London or you will morph into this

2010-09-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

this pretty much sums up 90% of soho/camden/shoreditch

lol at how i know at least 10 man in this video, shame on you!

XX BYRON

How AMAZING is this video? erm.... SOOO Amazing

2010-09-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

love a bit of cannibal corpse.....please sleep with me?

XX BYRON

All your riffs are AMAZING

2010-09-06T13:15:00.000-07:00

erm...ok people. you have here your template for a stoner playlist

enjoy....

XX BYRON

The empty side of our Bed

2010-09-06T06:16:00.000-07:00

most nights i lie
next to the mold
of your corpse
on the empty side
of our nest
...
the place where we
displayed our love
best
...
once loved
twice departed
lonely winter nights
boiling summer lights
...
i dream of you
back in your rightful
place
...
like a pawn
on a chessboard
...
i wait for your
next move

THUD
...
lost in nostalgia
i awake
...
that split second of bliss
where i forget to remember
...
then i am back to my future
far from our past
reminiscing the last
...
clutch of warmth
the last print of soul
on that empty side

this is an original poem by theladybyron, its about the night my aunt died and that i lost my faith

XXBYRON

OMG BITE ME

2010-09-05T14:18:00.000-07:00

Basically BITE nights are AMAZING and this Monday is going to be even better

the first time i went to this night i was sober and can honestly say, never have i ever had such a good night Stone Cold Sober.

the set was amazing , the people that were there WEREN'T Shoreditch rejects, or up-their-own-arse types. just cool people cool vibes and most importantly Air conditioned rooms!

Also they can get you in cheaper if you are a student and broke or shall we say money challenged as i am or free if you join there mailing list which i did BITE ME. and can get you insanely pissed for cheap....soo cheap ...cheaper than ANYWHERE ELSE IN LONDON here are some of the deals

BEFORE 11PM
2-4-1 on selected beer/wine = £1.25 per pint/glass
Teqkilla shotz = £1.50
Cocktail of the Week = £3.50
Sambucca = £2

ALL NIGHT!
£2.50 on selected beer/wine/house spirits
£3.50 double spirit + mixer
£4 JAEGERBOMZ

So come down tomorrow and every Monday!Byron says so....

i'm joking please go i need someone to dance with.

before you forget this is the Address

The Den

18 West Central St

London, United Kingdom

XX BYRON

Us Pacers by Lupe,kanye & Pharrel

2010-09-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

The most AMAZING song from 3 of the MOST TALENTED POETS of our time. not to mention the original song writer Thom Yorke.

XXBYRON

makes shake all over

2010-08-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

Amazing Classic song, i love it more than cherry pie

Boy not from the 'Hood'

2010-08-20T04:31:00.000-07:00

Soooo....

i went out to Shoreditch last night.

Firstly, I wasted THREE FUCKING HOURS of my life , waiting in the queue at plastic people for the relaunch of the only good dubstep night in London FWD *my opinion I don't care if you like some night or some other shit Dub night , where everyone is under the age of 16*.

yes so i waited in the queue and bunch of what i can only describe as cunty suburban boys, that think they are hard because the listen to old school hip hop and wear leather man jackets with their hair shaved at the sides. Push in front of us, i mean REALLY now. THIS IS ENGLAND and we can bloody queue like WHAT THE FUCKETY WHERE THEY THINKING?

BITCH PLEASE....

if my nephew tried to mug you, you would just piss in your pants , and he is 9. don't think you that just because you listen to Dizzy Rascal and now Big L, that your are push worthy or in any way 'Hood'.

firstly never in your life fucking push in front of me, i am easy going but I 100% HATE people with No manners,morals or good upbringing, it just brings out the SNOB in me , which i don't like doing, but for fucks sake cunty dude... how would you feel if you waited for three hours in the rain and windy weather only for some scene kid to push in front of you pretending to see their friend called "Corsa"

do you think I'm fucking stupid?

a) your friend has a ridiculous name, and...

b) THEY DO NOT EXIST

so i caught the last cunty pusher and gave him a good telling of, i said , word for word @ cunty shoreditch boy line pusher

"do you think I'm fucking stupid mate, you friend doesn't exist, this queue is long and wide and you and your cunty friends are taking the piss,

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE..?

I'm gonna let you pass only because the rest of you butters friends are already at the front , but TRY KNOW if any of you come by my way, I AIN'T HAVING IT, you get me..PRICK"

that's right folks theladybyron use incorrect grammar , because i was sooo pissed of , literally i find that more rude than being stabbed by a Prepubescent Peckham Person.

now jam you hype before i marry you, then divorce you and make you loose your family home in Chelsea because my lawyer is FAR better than yours.

push in front again and i will get Gary Coleman to come back from the dead and sucker punch you in the bollocks *it with in his reach*

R>i>P

XX BYRON

im flying in my nike air jordans

2010-08-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

i'm guessing their wives don't have to get on their knees for fellatio marathons , maybe i should marry one , it would do wonders for my arthritis

oh , and one more thing....

SOMEBODY BUY ME THESE PLEASE... I WILL MAKE YOU JELLOF AND CHICKEN...

actually fuck it i get enough im just being Jewish with my money again. when it come to air Jordans i usually really dislike them, and purely because it is just a BUTTERS shape for anything to go on your feet, it only succeeds i n making them look soo fekking huge, but these babies NEED me.... you don't understand ,the very soles of my feet crave to be with these Air Jordan Rare Air – ‘Olympic'

XX BYRON

Camel anyone?

2010-08-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

i did not believe that this product existed until i went on the site and ordered one....

so JOKES

XX BYRON

and remember Gentlemen...

if its not a camel then it isn't worth riding!

Tickle me Loris

2010-08-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

All right guys, this is THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, i want one in a box or Christmas

but .........

i hope it dies in its sleep before new year, only because although those eyes are cute, they are also kinda creepy and i can already visualise me having nightmares of this thing trying to rape my ears as i sleep, with the same *vacant expression* on its face.

XX BYRON

I wanna get naked and dance with doves too

2010-08-18T17:08:00.001-07:00

OMG OMG OMG

2010-07-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

These are called Dr. Dooms and they are Bloody AMAZING!!!

Pweeeeety Pweeeez with a cherry on top, if you get me these I will love you FOREVER!!!

XX BYRON

You Took The Best Of Me

2010-07-15T05:54:00.000-07:00

XX BYRON

bottomless pits

2010-07-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

celtic frozen- such an amazing tune

2010-07-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

Look at me: *you dont need to tell me Pharrel im already your #1 Stalker of FB

2010-06-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

i love you pharelly welly, * dont be ashamed by my love name for you*

*faints*

..........

JUST FUCK ME ALREADY YOU FINE MUTHA FUCKA!!

there you go, with your big bright red ass

2010-06-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

i love this man and strangely im in need of a hard boiled egg

Cos all i fuck is chimps and orangutangs!

XX BYRON

Nike Air royal mid QS – Black Suede/Patent Leather

2010-06-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

Mayn these are on fire, i like the black on black patent. they are soooo cool and remind me of my church sneakers that my mum used to get me from matalan (when japanese fashion was hype), but of course like everything else, Nike does it so much better. WOOOOOOOOW.

i am going to get these and get my nails done to match and wear with my Black 'oreos' Baseball jacket.

XX BYRON

Me? I'm Supa Dupa Fly

2010-06-22T11:50:00.001-07:00

with These Nails i doubt anybody would suspect i'm a lesbian

despite the Gay nature of these nail (unicorns) i think that for any of these ladies to find a girlfriend , then that said woman would have to be the proud owner of a platinum lined pussy

all i can say is......

OUCH!

XX BYRON

this song sends shivers down my spine

2010-06-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Personally i feel that Van She doesn't have a specified genre, and there is no other band like them, recently i've been listening to their old album and WOAAAW, stand still my beating heart.

XX BYRON

SS

2010-05-27T17:01:00.000-07:00

This Summers Soundtrack

i try to jerk off and it flops

2010-01-11T01:55:00.000-08:00

i love jerk music , i just wished that more people in England could jerk, so that we could jerk together, instead of watching youtube, not that it doesn't help :

long time coming

2010-01-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

so you're lonely and have no one to listen to your bullshit anymore?

not even one person to befriend your so obviosly-socially-retarded-self?

even though everyone hates you and thinks your a bitch

we put up with you out of loyalty

fools reasoning really

your voice and inability to speak meakes me sick

actually!

yeah thats right i said it.

do you want to know why i have a different set of friends?

because my dear i have outgrown you,

and need new things to stimulate my mind

aside from your boring banter about shit garms

that you would never were unless someone on channel U *coughs* AKA wore it first

i dont care what you say

those dumb games i dont play

racially mock me

try to cock block me

just FUCK off and crawl into the dirt from whence you came?

yes im fair enough to not let it known your true name

your a sow, a sorry old cow

with no life but to bitch and moan

that other people can move forward without having to try as hard as you

just get over the fact that you have failed in educated means,

and because of your 50's morals

cannot make social circles of anyone above your own social class

VILE is thy nature

creature from ENVY!

byron

sliding his hands all over his glands

2009-11-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

this makes me want to violate a snowman, i shall never add genitalia to snowmen EVER AGAIN

Monagomy can kiss me in the butt!

2009-11-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

recently i have decided that,

whatever i do

whatever anyone says

i will be whoring myself out

i mean why the fuck not?

im young and have average enough looks

wh y the hell shouldnt i take it upon myself to have a good -ass-fucking-time?!

men do this all the time , thats it,

IT HAS BEEN DECIDED

byrons new vice is gonna be-fuckiing -getting -of-with-anyone- i-see

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH of being taken for shit rides by shit guys.

i will find what i want, by how?

not staying in my house fucking crying about it

i will be pro-active and find myself a new fuck.

byron loves you :P

ever so H.A.P.P.Y

2009-10-13T03:10:00.001-07:00

Byron loves : S.L.U.T.S

2009-10-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

The best thing I can think of when im bored is how funny my Sweet Little Unforgettable Thespian friend is. He is the biggest slag this side of the river and gets away with it because he has a weiner, i'm like WTF? FML! if you get to shag who the fuck you want to and get head in public and nobody blinks an eye. its SOO NOT FAIR :(. Now now i am not saying everyone should be a slut ,but EVERYONE DOES HAVE SLUTTISH TENDANCIES, that is a FACT of LIFE.

I hate that part of singleton life where you can't openly tell someone you want to fuck them or get fucked by them without having to be "excluive" with them, I mean what is the world coming to when you cant even sleep around for practice? *misses the sixties*. I suppose the fear that most chicas have is of feeling so exposed . Dudes bitch and gossip just as much as chicks,and even the nicest looking guy can turn out to be the biggest cunt and will exaggerate whatever sexual escapades occured between YOU and his non existant penis.

Anyway back to sluts.They have this " i dont give a shit, i will have sexy time with who i want, because hey im just being ME" good for you Slutsy Malone! in a sense they have the type of freedom that slaves had to fight for. If you are not true to yourself then who can you be real with..the gods? like they ever gave a shit about you , remember the time they let that sleasy indie guy give you the clap and when your heart nearly stopped when that girl confessed to NOT being a virgin. However, sluts do have a tendency of being loved and then fucking it up to continue there sluttish ways, remember "slutsy malone" is just a default, when you find someone that still likes you even though your a slut , its time to hang up the free love tee.

Slutty virgins are like an Oxymoronic of the BNP's mandate of NOT being "officially racist" but "almost" being there.Like whats the point of being an undercover "technical slut" it sucks BIGTIME ( like slutty virgins) i mean what would your mother think of you now your tainted? she would rather you bled crimson than have dried cum on your mouth...... right?

Slutty Hippy Mothers are THE BEST kind of slut, giving hypocritical advice to there 5 kids all with different fathers-who-shall-never-be-named-and-they-new-toy-boy-who-is-just-5-years-older-than-her-eldest-son. YES people,Slutty mums dress the best and try to not age gracefully,they are MILITANT when it comes to MAKE-UP and truly rage against the dying of the night. You can party into next tuesday with these women adn YOU will be the only one in the corner falling asleep ashamed because you have been out danced and out drugged by a 42 year old woman who's nic-name is "Mama Cass"

FREE LOVE is FUCKING FANTASTIC

Obese Chronicles part 1:Dude where's my Genitalia?

2009-09-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

As harsh as this may seem, it has come to my attention that many of our morbidly obese erm..."buddy's" have magical genitalia ,as in they do a disappearing act every bloody time they sit down or want to do a number 22. Then a question came to mind how do they cope with this never ending anatomical magic trick that God or Ronald MacDonald cursed them with...and it came to as awkwardly as when you have "the talk" with your parents.
ADULT nappies.

No longer the secret shame of elderly-folk-dumped-in-a-less-that-average-nursing-home-trying-to-recall-their-lost-youth-with-a-cranky-carer-named-ruby or some other dreadful name. OH NO! my fellow Spartans, nor is it the luxury of old business men trying-to-rein-act-their-lost-years-with-a *coughs*" wet nurse (no pun intended) named Lady luccy with two "Cs" to make it look like lucky spelt wrong.
googled it as you do and found out that they have them in many sizes, some even up to XXXXXL, which is like saying.. "hey fatty boom boom, its OK that your SOO obese that small children mistake you for a bouncy castle in the summer and a whale in winter, cos we SOO care about FATTY that we made you an ADULT SIZED NAPPY ,so you and all your fat little friends (by that I a mean variety of processed food logos)can eat the shit at McDonald's whilst doing one,*barf* p.s buy the SHIT WE SELL YOU"

now ,now I know what your thinking ,poo you Byron, why pick on tubby?just because you and your friends are waifs why ?you say.... I shall TELL YOU WHY!?! and its not because i'm a fattist , I have a few "large" friends or whatever is politically correct to call fat people these days. First of all its because ,whenever I take public transport its always the "BMI challenged" person that decides to park there bumper somewhere next to me (usually squashing me) and usually smelling of something deep-fried and only 30% of it is made by real things such as erm...you know.. MEAT ! the rest I am sure of it is made from steroids and water.NOW I am NOT some sort of hippie organic food protester ,but really if something that markets its self as chicken or meat, wouldn't you want it to be made mostly (as in over 50%) of chicken or meat? does any one really believe that McDonald's nuggets are made from chicken? just a thought...

secondly..why do you have to use food as a blanketed reason for your shit life, why don't you just drink or smoke like normal people do? its frustrating because "BMI challenged" people always seem to be going on about "oh im soo fat ..blah.. my life is shit.blah blah.. I need a shag...blah..nobody loves me ..blah..blah" and this is followed by a feast that would feed a small tribe in Kenya, then more moaning ,the marathon of getting up the stairs then some crisps and a wank then bed.
Dude you could be more attractive if you lost a few stone (at least 3) ,it would really build your confidence up, NO ITS NOT "conforming to society" its not getting diabetes-having a heart attack then dying-or having to wear-ADULT NAPPIES.. p.s I love you

Kasra and the Mavericats @ 93 Feet East- 29 sept

2009-09-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

basically these guys are wonderful,they consist of three stooges, kasra,Rico and Adam . The lead singer Kasra is the coolest cat you will ever meet. there music is an eclectic mix of jazz,classical and folk sounds thrown in there with good old indie, and that's if you could categorise there sound. The music just runs freely adding to the lyrical genius of the words its a sure HIT and a definite DO!. so if your down in brick lane today come down to see these guys play 7:30-9:30,its free entry and good people.

Blinking Pigs

2009-09-28T01:51:00.000-07:00

im sure there are still a few people out there who haven't herd of little dragon and if you are one of them CHECK THEM OUT :).this lead singer is SUPER SUPER cute and has an A-MAZING voice ..seriously though she really does!. the first i heard from them was "twice" however being the dub head i am , i heard the 16bit remix to it, but thought "hey...this song can hold its own I don't think it needs a remix" so I wikipedia'd *little dragon* and found out that I was obsessed with them and that they are based in gothenburg ,Sweden, the lead singer is half Swedish and half Japanese and called Yukimi Nagano, how much does her name want you to pronounce-it-correctly?

OK so I found out that the "twice song " is like 3 years old and still A-MAZING, there 2007 debut album is called "little dragon" and there new album is called "machine dreams". they have like an electric/acoustic sound and are quite possibly the best comedown cure (musically anyway) that I have ever had.

Meet my duchebag Mate

2009-09-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

OK so every group of friends has one, and if you don't know who it is then IT IS YOU>we put up with you because we are your MATES so why are you always......
+e.g having non -attending tendencies to things..... like all the parties your invited to but complaining when we stop inviting you to shit
+not being able to speak to people out of your comfort zones (you suck because everyone else does it for you)
+being violent to us when to are intoxicated by the numerous drugs that you are addicted to (nobody's life is entirely drug free but everyone needs limits).
+always complaining when things don't go your way
+you are not Derren brown so stop trying to MIND FUCK YOUR OWN MATES, this includes manipulating every situation ,just to get your own way ...it is wrong and you shouldn't do this....if a friend to YOU is someone that does whatever the fuck you want then we want no part in your mind fuckery.
is there an emotional nerve that was cut out your head at birth?
even with all your social flaws we are still friends and yet you think that I am the one being flaky with you?
me thinks that you erm.... BULLSHIT MUCH? how is it, that when I go halves with you on food , I get £0 change back? not to mention the time you slept with someone knowing full well that we liked each other. Is it so impossible for you to comprehend for even a split second that the axis the earth spins around isn't your hairy fat arse? No don't make that im-so-confused-as-to-why-you-guys-are-being-soo-mean-to-me? face that you always make when people are trying to give you some advice ,just SUCK IT UP and get over YOU,we all know that even you are not that naive and retarded.....just a DICK-HEAD really>seriously your a good friend but you know that there's more inside and that you have a lot to give so stop douching on us all and we wont remind you of all the times that the prick in you raised its ugly head
and how you would sell the souls and kidneys of YOUR FRIENDS for another bottle of bear and half a gram of cocaine ,then-we-can-stop-having-this-conversation-deal?

Pretty Young Things

2009-09-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

ID's september issue is A-MAZING ,How beautiful is everyone in this issue?, from the geourgeuos girl with the chanel tattoo to Chanel Iman, Arlenis Sosa, Sessilee Lopez just ooozes sexy & Jourdan Dunn on the front cover, there skin is so perfect. personally i thin k that the background is also amazing.that aside there is also a lady that hasnt been mentioned in the hype about this issue and it is .........

Lucy Bridge

this woman is beautiflu i can what they were trying to do here e.g a "larger" model, but i dont even think that shes big in anyway apart from being beautiful, i have seen her once in the flesh and do you know what ? her eye make up REALLY suits her . i wish i was brave enough to try that and still look catwalk cool.whatever path she chooses to follow i can HUGE things coming up for this lady in the future. p.s how A-mazing is her tatt?

Tales of the stoned hair stylist

2009-09-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

the other day as i was subsequently "rolling" with my homie marli, we decided to go shopping first- then dye his hair- then get "high". however the order of those events changed and we ended up getting high before all of that shit and were too monged out to do the lot .As the stoners theory on bag carrying is to carry only enough so that you can still hold the spliff. That aside and back to his, i ended up dying his face instead of his hair and getting verbal abuse from him "byron what the fuck are you doing, its on my fucking belly you fucking idiot!". monged and confused i swilled finished another spilff and broke his window *accidently though :)* then one the way home i was listening to giggs on the bus in good old Brixtonia and thought "what is my life coming to" befor a crack salesman tried his pitch on me,however i was not amused.

FPTP but are you gonna bang tho?

2009-09-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

actually im NOT going to bang, but i will say that HEY MY NAME IS Amie-BYRON and apparently im a lady :). im new to this whole "blogger" thing but seeing as too many things happen to me in a day and im to lazy to handwrite shit, i thought i might aswell "blog" things e.g. like the time i threw eggs out of a bus in camden and it hit a bunch of nuns,instantly i thought "omg if there is a hell im definately going there now without a doubt"

*the happiest nun in the world*
but really why were they in camden?. i dont know what a bunch of nuns are called collectivelly, maybe a "herd" or a "swarm"?